Overdose Vigil at Lynn, Massachusetts
Melissa Weiksnar speaking for Amelia
August 6, 2010
This vigil was held on the town common. I was one of two guest speakers, names of people who had died were read, and a small band provided music. The weather was beautiful (albeit a bit windy for the candles). I'd estimate close to 200 attended, sitting on the park benches in front of the gazebo. --Melissa
One year ago today, August 6th 2009, my 20 year old daughter Amy was at the Paul McCartney concert at Fenway Park with her Dad. She had begged me to join them, but I felt too busy at work. A year ago tonight, she was making her Dad a 56th birthday dessert: 3 layers of chocolate cake, with chocolate mousse in between, slathered in mocha mascarpone frosting. She had just finished a 3 week microbiology course at Boston College, part of her nursing curriculum -- she earned an A, scoring 108 on the first test, and "only" a 104 on the second.
But she was also scoring drugs. Big time. We knew she was on suboxone, but she told us it was because of oxycontin. On November 16th, she brought me to meet her drug counselor, where she admitted that she was a heroin addict, needed to go to treatment, and would not be able to finish her semester. She entered detox the Saturday before Thanksgiving, rehab six days after, and a residential treatment house the Monday before Christmas.
We picked her up for a 12 hour pass on Christmas day, took her to the required AA meeting, retrieved her 90 minutes later, and after dinner her brother drove her back to her residential treatment house. We had had a picture perfect Christmas. The next day, Falmouth Hospital pronounced her dead at 6pm from an overdose at her treatment facility. The ER had worked on her almost 2 hours and couldn't bring her back from her final speedball. She had allegedly scored drugs during the time of the AA meeting.
Nobody expected this outcome. She was young, had entered treatment voluntarily, had the support of her family, career goals, and so many wonderful friends. She wrote in her journal the day before Thanksgiving "I know the real Amy is inside me somewhere and I need to get her back...I'm sick of leading a double life." Further into treatment, she journaled "I feel like the drugs have taken over my soul. What happened to the strong, motivated young woman I was last spring? The impending doom sets in as I realize my disease has never been this bad. I stand today as heroin's puppet. But just like they say, you can't scare an addict."
As our family followed Amy's coffin into church for her funeral, it struck me -- what an awful way for her father to walk our daughter down the aisle. Amy's childhood friend had said
"I'll always remember Amy as a smart, beautiful, caring young lady and I'll always be proud to be her friend, and know that whether she knew anyone for five minutes or five years that she most definitely touched their heart."
As we took her serenity prayer card http://www.carusos.org/2009/amy2009.html to the stores she frequented near her Cleveland Circle apartment, people remembered "Oh yeah, the tall skinny girl with the blue eyes who was always smiling." Amy, my Red Sox fan, Celtics fan, runner, drummer, baker and soulmate.
Addiction doesn't care if you're from Cambridge or Carver or Carlisle.
... if your skin is dark naturally, or from tanning.
... if your eyes are earthy brown, or sky blue.
... if you mother has a GED, or a Harvard MBA.
... or if you're flipping burgers at BK, or studying nursing at BC.
Addiction is an equal opportunity disease. Every day, opiates kill 2 people a day in Massachusetts. As tragic as Amy's death is, I take comfort in knowing that she is now forever safe with her Creator, and her excruciating pain is over. But we miss her like crazy. And we have to make sure her death was not in vain. There IS help out there we didn't know about, and there is hope. So I hope you will help anyone with a loved one in trouble to get the treatment they need. We cannot lose any more!